"THE ONE" - A MYTH OR REALITY??

Hello again!!! I know I've taken a long break, but didn't get a chance to put my thoughts into words!!! Without any further delay I present to you the latest freshly cooked up food for thought..............THE ONE"

Straight to the point. Hands up who believe that there is A special someONE made for us in this world. Good!!! I had my hands up, just in case you were wondering. Now hands up for all those who have found their special one....My hand was up again just in case you were wondering...(specially my discussion forum members). I may have not had my hands up a few years ago but now I think this is for real this time.

The reason I say this is because, I think I was living in fantasy land up to now. I had my love life influenced by books, movies, stories, other peoples lives. I never took a step back to think, that maybe believing there being a special one is just a myth. And in doing so I may have let some special people pass by or even almost lost what I had.

From the time we begin to understand anything about relationships or love, we are fed with this non-stop idea of there being a certain someone somwhere. Who we shall meet one day and live happily ever after. From that very moment our search begins for THE PERFECT ONE. We start to build a wish list of the characteristics of how the special one should be and how he/she should make us feel. Has anyone till date said, I want to be in love with a rapist? Or, I want a prostitute to be my bride? Not that they are not human beings or don't understand love. But how come we do not desire them. Moral values, I understand. But what guarantee is there that our special one may not turn into one of them later on. God forbid, but the likely hood of that happening is exactly the same as you finding your perfect match....yeahhhhh i know you all are going say - no way how can she say that. Well if that's not true, then why was your hand not up when I asked if you've found your special one?

Now.... I like this silence..cause you and I are both thinking. My point is that, we will always want the best qualities in our other half. But who made those ground rules? My problem is not that we wait for the specific one. My problem is that we do not give anyone a chance to become the special someone.We are so influenced by the idea of someone special being out there for us that fits the bill, that we forget to look at the wonderful people around us.

Even God says He has made you in pairs, but HE did not tell you to host a talent show to get to them. This is my understanding of it all- He has definitely made someone special for us. But whether we get to live with them for a lifetime is left to choices we make. Just like He has a future written for us no matter what route we take or what choice we make.

We may have already passed by them in our lives and didn't make the choice to know them or love them. We may be with them right now, but not be content enough to accept them as the ultimate ones. We may be about to meet them, but our standards are too high to even consider them to be the right one.

Does it always have to be our way? Hell yeah!!! My way or the high way!! But is it always your way? Well no!! Not always!!

So what is it then, a myth or reality??? Take a moment and think of all the people you've had crushes on, have been infatuated by, in love with, in relationships with, and so on. Now make the same silly mistake of drawing up the checklist of you perfect match. Seriously try it out. I may take some of your time but trust me, it might just ease the heartache we put ourselves through every so often......Now that you've made your wish list, mark these people as potential candidates just as one would when looking for the X-FACTOR. Come up with some kind of scoring system and rank them.

How many of them qualified on all your criterion? If they did, are you with them? If yes, I am happy you made the right choice!! If not, then why does no one have all the qualities you need? Was it that your list was unrealistic? Could someone from that those names have had a chance to work on things they didn't score well on? Or has the problem always been you and your high standards?

Take a good look at the list and if you think that there is a name there that strikes out the most, go knock on their heart and find out if they thought if you were their special one. If they've already found their better half walk away right that moment or you will ruin their lives. But if they haven't then try and see if it will be worth the second chance. If you do not wish to go after the name in your list, it is perfectly fine. But next time you judge someone remember they are judging you too. If you are already with someone but then they do not score a 100% then ask yourself whether that works for you. Because when you answer 'yes' you will almost instantly stop comparing them and stop that constant measurement of their affection and love for you.

And please tear that list and put in the bin. Because your life is not a reality show. It is reality!! We are talking about people and not materialistic things. We can shop for the best product but we cannot shop around for the perfect match.

I am not telling you to give everyone a chance to mess around in your life and then move on. I am only suggesting that we stop living in the romantic fool's paradise and accept what we have with all joy. If someone makes you happy but has something that you do not approve of, then talk to them and see if it can be altered and make things easier for both of you. If it can't then decide what is more important, your happiness or your 100% approval of someone or mix of both. I am sure if someone truly loves you then they will do anything to make things work and so will you.

Please for the love of yourselves, don't torture yourselves into living a life of burden. If you can't deal with it then so be it, maybe it wasn't meant to be. Maybe you were on the wrong train. Get off on the earliest stop and change route. If you want to carry on the journey then make sure you are packed up till your final destination.

Whatever you do, remember this in mind.....maybe the one you are with may not be your perfect one. But there is an equal chance, that for them you are "THE ONE".

Good luck and I hope we all make perfect matches!!!