ONE SIDED COIN ££££££££

Busy people, busy lives,
All running to to make their earnings,
Working hard to make relations strive,
Ever stopped and asked, Is is worth a Dime?

Have you ever felt like the ONE-SIDED COIN????

Just like in a coin, how the denomination value is engraved on one side and the other has heads of people and pictures of places. In the same way, sometimes in relationships there is one individual who is always adding the value to the relation. When one picks a coin, they look at the side which has the value embossed, and not the one with prints, even though the other side may have it spelt out in words it still is not the side that depicts the value at the immediate instance.

As is the case of some relationships. Sometimes there are relationships like great ventures, motivated investors, hard working stakeholders and happy shareholders. And on the other side, there are Sole traders (lol)....even though it is a partnership, one works hard and the other reaps results. One of you is struggling to keep the spark alive, whilst the other goes out and burns the fuse. Even though the value is clearly spelt out on the one side of the coin....does that side realise it's not just about pretty pictures to paint in life? It's hard work to make things work. Both sides are inseparable and still have different images....still want to portray different views, failing to realise that their value is complete as a whole, ONLY when they come together.

So we start to think and wonder!!! Is it their fault, that they do not realise that you are doing everything to make them happy and all they need to do is sit and relax? Is it their fault, that they never thought that they were not doing their bit in this success? Is it their fault, that they couldn't see that their end of the scale is not balancing the weight of this bond? Is their fault, that you never told them that this ship is sailing cause you are navigating it in storms and holding anchor when it begins to drift from shore? Is it their fault, that they strongly believe that they are doing their fair share and all is going to plan? Or is it their fault, that you can simply not tell them that it's not what you are all about? And then you blame them???? If we can't tell them how we feel, why is it fair to blame them for making us feel this way? And even if we have tried we have definitely not succeeded cause we still continue to feel this way. I think to a certain extent the fault lies in our hands....don't be upset I am on your side but you both are partners in crime. She started but you never stopped....there were issues he picked... you never dropped.

I personally think, that we somehow drift into that category of the one-man battle ship. We don't start off but eventually land up there for no fault of any. In no particular order or priority I believe life gives us a run of the below stated sometime or the other; the CUATROLOGY revealed:

UNO : We are just not cut from the same cloth!!
We maybe close matches, perfect matches, soul mates but we are still different people. Understandable that we have different personalities and mentalities, but somehow one becomes damaging to the sweet harmony. When it started both were signing from the same hymn sheet,
and the same note...and slowly one drifted in to an Alto and other a Sopranao...lol...no matter how much we try we cannot be the same people...we can be split images but we still remain to be split.

DOS : Opposites attract!!
We knew from the start that he/she is definitely different but you feel the urge to try something new. You want that spice, you want that different flavour other than your own palate, you enjoy the taste, you have the hunger and thirst to try out the heat,and then......you get acidity or indigestion....lol. Who asked you to be brave and to order that dish, when you knew in your guts you couldn't stomach it? Now pay the bill!!! They are simply opposites, they cannot feel and understand your way and that's what made you go for them. Who is to blame...?????

TRES : Against the grain!!!
If doing something goes against the grain, you're unwilling to do it because it contradicts what you believe in, but you have no real choice. You chose to be with them. You've made that decision, now you stick with it. And you become the DIY guy/gal in this build. Your not someone that can break a brick and destroy the house. You're someone who will dig deep to lay the foundations right. If the house moves you will get it underpinned so it's steady again. But your not someone to run a bulldozer over the building. You will do everything to make it a home, just like the House Doctor (a show I watch regularly)...wherein Anne Maurice comes to your house that's not selling or not working for you....immediately sights the faults and with bit of elbow grease and tlc makes it habitable or sellable.

CUATRO: Love fool!!
You were the foolish born to make someone happy. You were made in such a way, or you made yourself into it, that you will love boundlessly and get but a speck in return. You will do and die for him/her only to know that not even a tear was shed on your dead body. For you ,they are worth the world, for them you are a world not worth. They enjoy you, they care, but they are not those to show or take the risk. You yearn for their companionship and have to settle for scraps. You want to show them your unconditional love and make them see that life would easy just with a dose of your love. But they just don't want to let that happen. They are stuck on the idea that it's bad science to mix love and life...but love makes life the beauty it is. Only if they could drop their guard and see that you want to be their secret angel and take their sorrows away. NO.... it won't just get through their thick skull. They know it all to well....and as I always say, it will be their loss when doors to this love ATM are closed.


So what do we do? Tell them...simple isn't it?

Doesn't work so simply and I always wonder why. But then I comfort myself with above stated CUATROLOGY (lol) and keep my patience. I have learnt over the years that somethings are not meant to change....to be unearthed. Some people are structured to be the beneficiary and other for life and after, the benefactor. Always going on to add value to a stagnant preposition... pushing for response, waiting for chance..chance to make the other side of the coin see the value on his.

You are the value to this relation and without you it would only be a piece of metal with fancy prints...so don't stop now...cause one day it will merge...one day realisation will surge and life never be the story of just another one-sided coin!!!

Distance makes the heart grow fonder = Distance makes heart and head ponder!!

Now I did always believe that the regardless of what happens, if you really have a strong bond with someone nothing can deter it. But over the years that I have been in UK, I have experienced how slowly but surely the bond begins to lose its stronghold and in some cases it becomes just a mere memory.

I’ve left friends behind in India and relationships that I could vouch would stand all tests of time and age. Interestingly, all but a few handfuls are still intact. Others have faded so far that I sometimes doubt they ever existed. STRANGE, BUT TRUE!!! HMMMMM..........!!

What caused it??? Busy lifestyle, commitments, choices, bad decisions, silly mistakes, unwanted dramas, misunderstanding, or the lot???? But doesn’t the saying go, DISTANCE MAKES THE HEART GROW FONDER????
Well looks like it definitely does, but just until we find something and someone else instead. It is only a matter of time before we find a replacement for all our emotions. In the form of a new relation, old fire, new hobby or a brand new desire. Then why in that present, this future seems highly unlikely???

You know what it doesn’t even have to be continents or oceans to do the damage...it’s simple as...Out of sight, Out of mind, stashed away some day in hope to find!!

Take for example my Stratford Dream Team...I cried when I had to let go and today hardly but a few exchanges have happened since. And mostly it’s been the senti-less-mental-more me, who has initiated those exchanges. Now, Stratford is just a Central line and a few delays away, even still it has been so difficult to keep the same bond going. I look at my new team and tell them every single day that, how much the Stratford team meant to me and how much I miss them, how I can’t find it in my heart to really replace them or feel nothing like it...But how many of them are still in contact??? I miss them...and really miss them...but that’s all it’s boiled down to be. Just like all my friends left behind this fraction of my emotion which is now labelled as ‘’MISSING THE LOVED ONES’’.

I have a friend who promised me that no matter what, he would never stop talking to me and never stop bugging me with his annoying TALKTALK routine...but he got engaged a couple a months ago and we’ve only spoken twice since....once to find out if the new leash was fitting fine ( his fiancé) and the other for some web designing work I needed help on (which was supposed to be followed the next day and never happened..no surprises there!!). And this is one of those friendships that could never lose their charm and intensity...but it happened.

I was apparently someone’s oxygen supply once upon a crazy time ago, he got married and I only found out on FB status update...lol ....really beyond me that I didn't even know about and we had now connection left.

My best friend in India, is my soul secret keeper....and we donn't speak much except only on birthdays...i.e., twice a year – once on her bday once on mine.....that too if we are not busy....and sometimes a FB msg, a fwd email or just a KNOCK KNOCK!!YOU ALIVE ??? MAIL!!!

Not saying the relationship is over or bond lost....but Distance does make the heart and head ponder!!

Why can’t we just be able to have relationships with expiry dates? That way we can check the lid, know the use by date printed, and put a lid over it for good. We just can’t do that, and we promise never to forget and cross our hearts in hope to die....all but just a white lie. You and I both know by experience that we simply don’t have the time to juggle so many relations....But we are quick to pick on Gordon Brown’s interpersonal skills!! (VOTE LABOUR...JAI HO!!)

See...we can’t maintain it then why waste all our energy and efforts for it. I am that silly stupid gal who would hold you to your word if you said ‘I Miss You’ ‘I Care for You’ ‘You Are Special to Me’ blah blah....And I would work a lifetime to keep close ties. Only to realise that there is only one way traffic, just breaks my heart.

On the other hand, it seems that this mechanism could be put to use when we really want some space from unwanted stress elements..Ahem ahem!! Seriously, I believed that it would bring hearts closer and crap but it only opens our hearts and minds to other opportunities. We get so tangled up in our small worlds that we cannot see beyond our fence. But if for some reason we had to or decided to make the space between us...we would see attractions and distractions in the void. Now it is good for those who need a breather now and again, but a scary tool at hand. Cause it is accompanied with side effects of making our minds take a complete u-turn as well. Complicated...I know...let me explain.

If you and your partner/friend were stressed out and you thought it was a good idea that you spend time apart so you can learn to respect each other’s priorities and space....it could work and you would realise how the other completes your routine and makes you circle complete. Alternatively, that space is sufficient to make you realise that you don’t want to go back to the old routine and complete your circle, maybe you want a semi-circle now...lol!! JOKES APART....Dangerous idea..Do Not Try It At Home!!!

I would just like to say that, don’t create that distance unless necessary. Because you never know what doors you shut on your way out, some consciously other not. Some we can walk straight back into, some we can get through by constant knocking, some we might need to bang on, and some will be shut forever.

I am not worried about the others but the last one, as its painstaking when you can’t be close to the ones you once shared some great moments, laughs and tears. Distance then just becomes that big barrier that you can’t cross and leaves my heart and mind forever ponder!!

Why don't Emotions come with a DELETE button?

Wouldn't it be easy if we just had the DELETE button for our emotions?

We have pain killers to kill the pain in our body. But they are prescribed only once we know we have the pain. Antibiotics to clear the existing infections and make our system stronger. But they are also prescribed after we are aware of being infected, sometimes earlier. Vaccines are the only things that are given before we even have a potential problem. So maybe we should have an EMOTIONAL VACCINE (EV) induced at the time of birth!!!! I am an inventor!!!! I should be rich!!!! Sorry ain't happening sister!!!

Looks like we only react when something happens.'Prevention is better than cure'. But we don't necessarily have the gear ready to deal with emotional attacks. We should be grateful that we are getting somewhere in our medical and scientific fields unlike emotional, else it would be a disaster. So why has no one thought about EV??? I wonder....don't you??

It seems as though we have a default system of non-tolerance towards rejection. I think GOD, forgive me if I may even dare to say so, faces the the same dilema. He just can't accept failure and discard anything. Look around you. How many millions of different creatures he has created. We don't even know half of them. How many faces, animals, plants, stars, planets, etc. etc., has he created. He can't deal with it being enough. It didn't turn out the way I wanted....let me add a little bit colour in it...Maybe I should stretch his chin a bit...ooh I could give him an extra toe...Nah let ME use that FORD guys idea and make all these models in black.....Let Me make the mountains in a triangle...oh I'm bored different types of triangles...earth in a circle....and moon...I'm really not sure so till I decide let it keep changing shapes...........we get the point dude.

So we've got it from the very start. Cannot just simple say NO...NADA...NAHI...STOP...DELETE... till it becomes absolutely fatal and sometimes even not after that.. Why can't we just press the DELETE button on our emotions? Our default system is so messed up that even though we created the DELETE option we are still not confident of using it.

WARNING!! YOU ARE ABOUT TO DELETE SELECTED ITEMS!! YES CONTINUE!!! ARE YOU SURE YOU WOULD LIKE TO DELETE THESE ITEMS!! YES CONTINUE!!! OH DAMN THESE ITEMS HAVE BEEN DELETED!!! SHALL WE CREATE THE RECYCLE BIN/ DELETED ITEMS FOLDER JUST IN CASE!! YES CONTINUE!! WOULD YOU LIKE TO EMPTY THE DELETED ITEMS FOLDER? IF I DIDN'T THEN WHY DID I DELETE THOSE ITEMS? WELL WE THOUGHT MAYBE...MAYBE WHAT....YES DELETE/EMPTY....WARNING!!!SELECTED ITEMS WILL BE PERMANENTLY DELETED FROM THIS FOLDER!!! FOR DUCK SAKE DELETEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!

YOUR FOLDER IS NOW EMPTY!!!!!LOL...I had fun writing that bit...hhehhehehe!!

OK seriously, why is it so hard to just let go? Let go of a desire, a dream, a thought, a fragrance, a card, a pen, a toothbrush, a wrapping paper, a carrier bag, a mini statement, an ice cream bowl till the last lick, a glass of water till the last drop, a nandos till the last chip, a person till the last breathe and after, an emotion for ever and ever!!

You know it's not going to be yours. You know it is gone. You know it's never coming back. But you still hold on.

It hurts but you go ahead.You want it but can't have it. You have it but don't want it. You let it go, now want it back. You swore and crossed your heart. You lost it when you owned it and seek when it were lost. You played with it until it broke, then tried to mend it and make it work. Why can't our heart just be under lock? Why can't emotions be out of stock?

Almost everything can or potentially be dissected, constructed and reinvented. Are emotions the only thing that came without a manual? It's amazing that in an ever evolving inquisitive community, we have not found the urge to resolve this core issue of unexplained emotions which are directly proportional to our desire for everything in life. I guess a few would have tried but the realised that there is actually nothing much we can do about it, so let's just make anti-depressants, rehab clinics and kamasutra...hehehe

Isn't it ironic, that the one thing that rules our lives is the one thing that can destroy it. I wish I had DA VINCI CODE for our hearts and minds. I would protect it like the Holy Grail..No kidding.. All we know is all that we need to know about emotions. And still we have no clue about them. If we know love hurts then why are we stupid enough to fall in love? If we know that a break up causes heart ache then why do we fall apart? We know we are not suppose to eat GU (Hindi for poo) for dessert and we don't. We don't follow the rules of the heart in the same way... do we? Even though it is historically proven to be painful if not followed as per instructions.(though I really love the chocolate mousse and pudding by notoriously famous GU')

He doesn't love you...how many more hurtful ways can he translate it to you. She couldn't care less for you than her penny change she left at the 99p shop. But we still care for them, still love them, can't do without them.

Why do emotions play on shuffle and repeat, why can't they simply be on auto-delete?
Couldn't they just be for use and throw, enlighten me oh mind on emotions and more!!