Now I did always believe that the regardless of what happens, if you really have a strong bond with someone nothing can deter it. But over the years that I have been in UK, I have experienced how slowly but surely the bond begins to lose its stronghold and in some cases it becomes just a mere memory.
I’ve left friends behind in India and relationships that I could vouch would stand all tests of time and age. Interestingly, all but a few handfuls are still intact. Others have faded so far that I sometimes doubt they ever existed. STRANGE, BUT TRUE!!! HMMMMM..........!!
What caused it??? Busy lifestyle, commitments, choices, bad decisions, silly mistakes, unwanted dramas, misunderstanding, or the lot???? But doesn’t the saying go, DISTANCE MAKES THE HEART GROW FONDER????
Well looks like it definitely does, but just until we find something and someone else instead. It is only a matter of time before we find a replacement for all our emotions. In the form of a new relation, old fire, new hobby or a brand new desire. Then why in that present, this future seems highly unlikely???
You know what it doesn’t even have to be continents or oceans to do the damage...it’s simple as...Out of sight, Out of mind, stashed away some day in hope to find!!
Take for example my Stratford Dream Team...I cried when I had to let go and today hardly but a few exchanges have happened since. And mostly it’s been the senti-less-mental-more me, who has initiated those exchanges. Now, Stratford is just a Central line and a few delays away, even still it has been so difficult to keep the same bond going. I look at my new team and tell them every single day that, how much the Stratford team meant to me and how much I miss them, how I can’t find it in my heart to really replace them or feel nothing like it...But how many of them are still in contact??? I miss them...and really miss them...but that’s all it’s boiled down to be. Just like all my friends left behind this fraction of my emotion which is now labelled as ‘’MISSING THE LOVED ONES’’.
I have a friend who promised me that no matter what, he would never stop talking to me and never stop bugging me with his annoying TALKTALK routine...but he got engaged a couple a months ago and we’ve only spoken twice since....once to find out if the new leash was fitting fine ( his fiancé) and the other for some web designing work I needed help on (which was supposed to be followed the next day and never happened..no surprises there!!). And this is one of those friendships that could never lose their charm and intensity...but it happened.
I was apparently someone’s oxygen supply once upon a crazy time ago, he got married and I only found out on FB status update...lol ....really beyond me that I didn't even know about and we had now connection left.
My best friend in India, is my soul secret keeper....and we donn't speak much except only on birthdays...i.e., twice a year – once on her bday once on mine.....that too if we are not busy....and sometimes a FB msg, a fwd email or just a KNOCK KNOCK!!YOU ALIVE ??? MAIL!!!
Not saying the relationship is over or bond lost....but Distance does make the heart and head ponder!!
Why can’t we just be able to have relationships with expiry dates? That way we can check the lid, know the use by date printed, and put a lid over it for good. We just can’t do that, and we promise never to forget and cross our hearts in hope to die....all but just a white lie. You and I both know by experience that we simply don’t have the time to juggle so many relations....But we are quick to pick on Gordon Brown’s interpersonal skills!! (VOTE LABOUR...JAI HO!!)
See...we can’t maintain it then why waste all our energy and efforts for it. I am that silly stupid gal who would hold you to your word if you said ‘I Miss You’ ‘I Care for You’ ‘You Are Special to Me’ blah blah....And I would work a lifetime to keep close ties. Only to realise that there is only one way traffic, just breaks my heart.
On the other hand, it seems that this mechanism could be put to use when we really want some space from unwanted stress elements..Ahem ahem!! Seriously, I believed that it would bring hearts closer and crap but it only opens our hearts and minds to other opportunities. We get so tangled up in our small worlds that we cannot see beyond our fence. But if for some reason we had to or decided to make the space between us...we would see attractions and distractions in the void. Now it is good for those who need a breather now and again, but a scary tool at hand. Cause it is accompanied with side effects of making our minds take a complete u-turn as well. Complicated...I know...let me explain.
If you and your partner/friend were stressed out and you thought it was a good idea that you spend time apart so you can learn to respect each other’s priorities and space....it could work and you would realise how the other completes your routine and makes you circle complete. Alternatively, that space is sufficient to make you realise that you don’t want to go back to the old routine and complete your circle, maybe you want a semi-circle now...lol!! JOKES APART....Dangerous idea..Do Not Try It At Home!!!
I would just like to say that, don’t create that distance unless necessary. Because you never know what doors you shut on your way out, some consciously other not. Some we can walk straight back into, some we can get through by constant knocking, some we might need to bang on, and some will be shut forever.
I am not worried about the others but the last one, as its painstaking when you can’t be close to the ones you once shared some great moments, laughs and tears. Distance then just becomes that big barrier that you can’t cross and leaves my heart and mind forever ponder!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)